Plain and simply, I have absolutley no Christmas spirit this year. I have had TONS of my mind and it's really effecting my Christmas this year. There is one thing that is really bothering me, above all other things, though. My ex is taking the boys overnight on Chritmas Eve, so they will not be waking up here, at their home, on Christmas morning.My ex is Portuguese and in their culture, they do their major Christmas celebration on Christmas eve. That always worked out perfectly when we were married because we did Christmas eve at his parent's house and Christmas day was at mine. Then we split up and put it in the divorce agreement that he gets them on Christmas eve and I get them Christmas day. That was more than fair to me, until this past year when he decided he wanted to be a bigger part of their "holidays".
Off the subject a little..... basically, he had ZERO interest in taking the boys trick or treating and said so every year....until we were divorced and he feels this need to torture me because he knows stuff like that is important to me. He was insistant on taking them this past October, but something came up that he wanted them for on a day when I already had plans, so I was able to "negotiate" getting them on Halloween. I know next year Halloween falls on a night when he has them, so I can live with that.
Back on topic. He said to me a few months ago that he wanted to keep them overnight Christmas eve and of course, I gave him hell about it because that is not what we originally agreed on. He harped and harped and I finally gave in. He is a controlling, manipulative bastard, and I feel like I have to walk on egg shells around him where stuff like that is concerned. I wouldn't put it past him to try to get custody of the kids just to spite me someday (even though they are clearly better off with me for SOOOO many reasons). So, I end up giving in on too many things to avoid conflict. I hate that he has that much control over me, too, but he knows he can bully me and I will give in, so this is just how it's gonna be for a while.
It's been making me absolutley sick for the past few weeks. So much so that I am planning on staying home alone on Christmas eve because I know I am going to be in tears pretty much the whole night. No worries, though, I have a date with Ralphie starting at 8pm!
Well, there's my sob story and hopefully next year will be better. They sure as hell aren't sleeping over their dad's next year.
14 comments:
Neither did I but I think it will come to us:) Hang in there lady! Sometimes things get worse before better. Merry Christmas!:)
I am so sorry you have to deal with a man like that, but you know the problem and that is a great thing and you will be able to overcome it. You know you are allowing him control of the situation and you know what maybe this year just try to let it go. I know easier said than done. You will have a wonderful Christmas Day with your boys and despite this horrible moment life will get better over time and you must believe that.
I'm so sorry. I would be pretty grumpy too if that were the case. Hugs.
I'm am sorry you have to deal with that. He sound's like my ex-brother in law. Big hugs.
Hang in there sweetie. It's hard I know but we have to get through it. I don't have Miss M this year for Christmas either. Due to a technicality in our divorce agreement, Ex was actually able to take her for the entire Christmas week. Not in the spirit of the agreement but just how the days fell this year. Completely wrong of her to take advantage of that in my opinion, but I have no legal grounds to say otherwise. Makes me sad and I'm just counting the days until I get her back. Some people are just vindictive and selfish. Hopefully we can be better than that while still standing up for ourselves.
Don't get to down in the dumps. You will have Christmas Day with your kids. It could always be worse.
Just keep reminding yourself that Christmas Day is on the way and your family will all be together!
Merry Christmas! I'll be watching Ralphie with you!
that really sucks! I can't even give you words of encouragement. I hope the children have a beautiful day regardless.
Divorce, custody sharing... it is all so hard to manage esp when there really is so much animosity between exes. I hope you kids have a great Christmas. I am sure things will improve... he sure knows how to push your buttons!
I wonder if there's a universal humbug out there... Sounds like a difficult time, I'm sorry he's such an ass. Hope things get better.
I am sorry to hear about the ex. But you are right sometimes it is best just to pick the battles. Wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas.
No wonder you feel down..that sucks..maybe you could have a pre-xmas eve tonight to celebrate with them..check out lights, hot chocolate, carols...???there is no easy when in a situation like this..how do the kids feel about going with him..??I guess that is important too..??.Peace and Joy ..!!
I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this.
I am so sorry! Try to keep Christmas Story running, and it will help keep you laughing! I hate to think of you sitting there miserable!
The only time I had marital spats it was over Christmas crap stirred up by my mother. When I divorced I gladly ceded Christmas Eve AND morning over to my ex - mostly to spite my mother.
I've taken full advantage of the time to myself - lollygagging to wrap presents, sleeping in. I've actually enjoyed it and the kids don't care because they get to have yet another Christmas celebration when they get home.
It's all a matter of perspective. Hang in there.
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