Cartoons That are Banned in my House!

There are several cartoons that I just can't let my kids watch, for all different reasons. Here is my running list:

1. Caillou. This whiney little bastard has absolutely no educational value and after letting my oldest son, who is now 5, watch it once, it took me months to un-brainwash him from whining. Plus, what kind of a stupid name is Caillou anyway?

2. The Wonder Pets. Who in the world thought a show with super-hero like classroom pets would be a good idea?? Really? I feel complelled to give a special shout out to the duck, Ming Ming with her annoying little lisp, that encourages my children to pronounce words incorrectly ("serwious"). And then they eat victory celery when they help their animal friends? They can't even eat something that a child might remotely like. I have never met a child that liked celery. Therefore confirming that this is one of the stupidest shows ever created.

3. Blue's Clues: Only the Joe episodes. Whoever conducted the auditions for Steve's replacment and hired this jerkoff should be hanged, drawn and quartered. I seriously want to punch my tv every time I see his fat face on there. Enough said.

4. Sid the Science Kid. Now, Sid is not officially on my banned list because he is somewhat educational, but he's still a little douche. Plus my 2 year old really likes him. But, those annoying little kids in his classroom deserve to be tripped on the playground. And what about that grandmother of his that picks him up from school??? Don't even get me started on that old hag. And who has noodles for hair anyways? Stupid.

5. Sponge Bob. When I ever turned it on one day and I heard him say "C U Next Tuesday", I knew this was not appropriate for any child, especially mine. He was banned that day and will stay on the list for all of eternity.

6. Max and Ruby. First of all, where are these kids parents?? And is it really any wonder Max acts out with a bossy big sister like Ruby? Someone please dump these kids off at the orphanage and let's just be done with these obnoxious bunnies.

With that said, it makes it sound like my kids watch 50 hours of tv a week, which is absolutely not the case. They get between 2 and 3 hours a day in reality. We listen to a lot of music in this house, so that fills the void for background noise sometimes. Especially this time of year when there are several stations that are playing Christmas music 24 hours per day!